The Ten Commandments were handed down several centuries ago and are generally common sense. However this does not stop people from ignoring them or twisting them for their own purposes. What follows is a list of the “Revised Ten Commandments” courtesy of the Ranting Rev:
10- You shall not covet thy neighbor’s house, car or stereo system nor his token wife or the nor any of his stock portfolio
9- You shall not rat out your neighbor to the Feds or Crime Stoppers, unless you really need the money
8- You shall not steal (D’uh)
7- You shall not commit adultery, even if you are going through your midlife crisis and your wife has denied you relations and your secretary is willing
6- You shall not commit murder, unless the order comes from the Don himself
5- Honor your Father and your Mother until they get really old and no longer make sense because of all the alcohol and anti-depressants
4- Remember to take a day off, relax for Christ’s sake!
3- If you take an oath in his/her name and break it he/she will be really pissed. Marriage and court are included in this one.
2- You shall not worship any idols, your Grandmother’s china, Beanie Babies or your Harley Davidson
1- You shall have no other Gods before him/her, not Elvis, not the Backstreet Boys, not Celine Dion, not Bill Gates and DEFINITELY NOT BRITNEY FUCKING SPEARS!!
Blessings
The Ranting Rev
Friday, April 27, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Step One
Step One- pull your head out your ass
Step Two- dig the SH#% out of your ears
Step Three- NO
I have found this three step process very helpful in dealing with friends, family members and members of the general public on numerous occasions. Sometimes this can also be useful with overly-persistent sales people who wish you to consume their product faster than you can pay for it like any good drug dealer would. The prescription drug industry is the topic of a future blog.
Perhaps I should introduce the Ranting Rev! That may be helpful.
Rev is an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church and its appointed Executive Director of the Atlantic Conference. Rev is a writer and a musician, a father, a brother, a poor excuse for a son on occasion, a husband, a lover, a seeker of truth and hope. I always try to see redeeming qualities in all people and are often disappointed. I remain an optimist in the midst of stupidity, mediocrity and apathy.
My topics of post shall be offensive to most sane people, introspective to some and generally annoying to others. If I have not pissed off somebody of a differing opinion then I shall be truly perturbed.
I welcome all people who are interested in expanding their consciousness as they may in turn help me do so as well. I make no claims on a direct line to God, Allah or whatever name you may chose to use to describe the massive ball of matter and energy that is our place in the universe.
Flames are always welcome and they will be ridiculed for sport and on occasion a cause for thought.
Blessings Rev Ev
Step Two- dig the SH#% out of your ears
Step Three- NO
I have found this three step process very helpful in dealing with friends, family members and members of the general public on numerous occasions. Sometimes this can also be useful with overly-persistent sales people who wish you to consume their product faster than you can pay for it like any good drug dealer would. The prescription drug industry is the topic of a future blog.
Perhaps I should introduce the Ranting Rev! That may be helpful.
Rev is an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church and its appointed Executive Director of the Atlantic Conference. Rev is a writer and a musician, a father, a brother, a poor excuse for a son on occasion, a husband, a lover, a seeker of truth and hope. I always try to see redeeming qualities in all people and are often disappointed. I remain an optimist in the midst of stupidity, mediocrity and apathy.
My topics of post shall be offensive to most sane people, introspective to some and generally annoying to others. If I have not pissed off somebody of a differing opinion then I shall be truly perturbed.
I welcome all people who are interested in expanding their consciousness as they may in turn help me do so as well. I make no claims on a direct line to God, Allah or whatever name you may chose to use to describe the massive ball of matter and energy that is our place in the universe.
Flames are always welcome and they will be ridiculed for sport and on occasion a cause for thought.
Blessings Rev Ev
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